What a cunt it was getting here. Do yourself a favor. If you miss your flight and you’re on standby and then you miss the next one, insist they do what’s called a “rollover” where you move to the top of the next standby list. Most people at the gate don’t know this new rule so you have to really drive it home but remember, you get more bees with honey than with vinegar.
Anyway, we’re here now. We went straight to the Longbranch from the airport and, in true Texas style, there was a huge brawl going on as we walked in. Sean was kicking out some dude and the guy smashed a beer bottle on the ground and started to attack. Sean managed to ward him off with some fancy karate moves but got his thumb split open so bad it has a flap hanging off it the size of a cannoli.
That was last night. Today is a new day. The Vice Kills Texas party starts at noon and goes til 8. Every band listed here is confirmed except Whitehouse who backed out at the last second for some reason we’re still trying to figure out. We’ve got over 60 bands playing the next two days and you don’t need a pass so don’t miss it.
Oh yeah, we heard some rich Texan was so mad about the title “Vice Kills Texas” he took out a full page ad in the Austin Chronicle defending this great state. Um, moron, we meant “kills” like “knocks it out of the park” not “extinguishes the life of all 20 million residents.” Tabernak.