1. Surreal Life-wise, we got a doozy of a season. Alexis Arquette is loud and annoying, the Smashmouth dude is all date rape and AIDS jokes (not in the good way), and the rest of them are just plain boring. Highlights include Tawney Kitaen being really fucking dumb, and Ce Ce DeVille just being a rad dude that you might consider bro-ing down with. Another stellar episode of The Sopranos, and ...
a lot of people have a hard time dealing with the dream sequences, but they have an eerie Twin Peaks vibe, and even if it doesn't mean anything at all, the idea of trying to figure out what it means with your friends is just too cute. Supposedly the 3rd episode is gonna be crucial. In other news, Dana died on the L Word and nobody gives a shit.
2. South By was pretty awesome, but only because the sun aligned with my 3rd moon somehow in the house of penis, I mean Venus, and I got to pal around with the Miguel Mendez band and Yoko Ono my way into their hearts. The Vice party is the only place you need during the day, sunflower seeds and iced tea will make the day complete. It doesn't matter now I guess that it's over but note this for next year: I don't drink and I didn't have a badge, and I had a great fucking time. Clothes situaitsh is easy; zip up hoody sweatshirt, shit kicker combat boots, and the shortest skirt you can find. Texans might act gay, but it's really just their way of being friendly. For food the only thing you need to eat is $1 tacos and ribs from Iron Works, where they slide and slither right off the bone and into your heart. Read the Vice Guide to Austin and take notes for next year.
3. Break up bound still, I find the crying comes in spurts rather than entire sessions. For girls, the best thing about breaking up with someone is losing all the weight. True, we might never find love again and grow old alone and sad with 129329329 cats breathing down our necks, but for now we are still young, and we gotta a lot of not-eating to do. 15 lbs in two months, so retail therapy feels good as we debt away the empty hole in our hearts. Waist size 27, fashion inspiration white trash chic: acid wash denim, ripped sleeves off flannels, tiny skirts, hickies, STDs, cuss words and cherry red lips. God, this summer is gonna be awesome. Meet me with a sack of angel dust behind the church and fill me with your man juice.
Just Kidding, I'm sobes!