We doen heel hard ons best om Rachel, onze Amerikaanse intern, te integreren in de Belgische maatschappij. Los van het feit dat we dat tot nu toe vooral gedaan hebben door haar dronken te laten voeren door iedereen die wat drank heeft staan en haar vooral geen plannetjes te geven als ze ergens naartoe moet, doen we dat door haar naar authentieke Belgische culturele evenementen te sturen. Zo leek de show van de masters Theaterkostuum van de Aacademie van Antwerpen ons een aangewezen gelegenheid om haar kennis te laten maken met een oorspronkelijke uiting van spontane...euh...we wijken af. Rachel ging vorige vrijdag naar Scheld'Apen en zoals te verwachten viel, werd het er behoorlijk weird.
The Theatre Costume Academy presented their master projects on Friday at the Scheld'Apen, which means “crazy monkey” or something. I think we missed the actual performance, so the theater kids took us on our own tour of through a field where their installations were set. I felt like I was at my old art school back in Boston again, walking around with friends, eating all the food. Except there wasn’t any food here. I have a friend called Danielle who is great to go to exhibitions with because she will call an artist out if they are making absolute bullshit and she's usually on point. I would just stand there and giggle the whole time. I wish she had been there at the Scheld'Apen in Belgium.
By the way, the guy on the photo above had a hand puppet he painted on his hand and did a number with his keyboard. I wasn’t impressed.
We walked further down the path.
We looked at some ducks flying across a television screen.
We met up with these boys who were flattered to have us there photographing them. I wanted to ask them to marry me but I couldn’t decide which boy I liked more. I’ll sew little suits for them. We can eat mushrooms (for their anti-inflammatory properties), drink tea and roll around in the grass until we get Lymes Disease.
They directed us this way…
This reminds me of a group project for an installation class I had. I don't know if that's a good thing, I think so.
We were invited to watch this girl through bifocals pouring sand or flour, or something. The people part of the school there thought I spoke Dutch. I had no idea what was going on as far as all the artwork was concerned. I could have spoken English but sometimes I like to play dumb to keep things interesting. Her dress was kind of nice printed with clouds.
How do you say, “marry me” in Dutch?
We headed to this opening along the field path.
We watched my other husband dangling flowers into this constructed room. The woman, I think it was his professor, stared at pictures of clouds on the wall. (He'd better not be having an affair.) Anyway, those are the clouds printed on the flour sand girl's dress. The world makes sense now.
Then when I saw this little girl I knew something bad was about to happen.
We stood in line to this warehouse building where you had to enter one at a time. Rica, who was with me, didn’t want to go inside. Little did I know, I waited and went in.
I found out later that this means “No Smoking”. I assumed it said something like "Abandon all hope, ye..." You know. Scary big signs in dark rooms.
I don’t know what this says but it looks really scary. Something about a dinosaur called a MINOTAURUS and a LABYRINT. Well, anyone who likes David Bowie knows what that word means. And that first word ALLEEN has something to do with aliens, I’m sure. I was headed straight for hell.
This was kind of intriguing and didn’t frighten me so much. So far: I should probably put on a gas mask and David Bowie might be around?
This is a photo of a photo that was collaged along the labyrinth - excuse me: labyrint - walls made of black garbage bags. Now, I see where this presentation is going… NOT.
More gross stuff.
This photo really got to me. I don’t think the pigs had any eyeballs. The artists could have left the entire warehouse room empty with this one photo of eyeless pigs in the middle of the floor. I probably would have seen it and started crying. But I was too distracted by the other things in the labyrint and …
This guy! Holy shit. I asked him if I could take a photo. What a stupid question, he just wants to rip my heart out and feed it to the pigs without eyeballs. He just stared.
I was even tempted to go hang out with this guy and ask him what the hell was going on, but I think he was napping.
Then I came across all these baby clothes laid out on the floor. I was wondering if there was anything in my size. Or do the Belgians dress their pigs in baby clothes? I’ve been having nightmares ever since. Thanks, guys.
I dedicate this article to Danielle and all my vegetarian friends.
RACHEL FAE COLEMAN